emotions for fucks sake

UGH

Hi!
I am so fucking confused right now.
There is this one person that I have a major crush on and he can be such a dickhead but my God I can't help these emotions.



Emotions screw me up big time. Plus my anxieties are through the roof.
I have a french test tomorrow and as the master of procrastination, it would be wrong for me to have started studying already. I'm screwed.
But for some reason I'm still smiling and I am kinda happy even tho I feel like crying 60% of the day.


thanks for reading this short attention-seeking post.


//VERA

Anxieties, Scooters and Halloween

I am feeling undoubtedly anxious right now and I don't really know why. I just feel really bad. I had so much fun last night with a bunch of friends and now I just feel alone and unwanted. But I'll be alright in a while.

Let me tell you what happened two days ago:
So, I was supposed to go to one of my friends house with some of my friends.
Me and my neighbour/bff hitched rides with our friends' scooters and then we went to the super-market  to get some stuff for the night.
We had to wait for one of our friends in the centrum of our town so we went to park our scooter on the parking lot infront of a store and what a pleasant suprise; a police motorcycle testing scooters and mopeds. So we were quite nervous because my friends scooter goes way faster than the legal limit. We went in the store and bougt french-fries and then we waited a while in the store but it didn't get any better. Not only was there the police on a motorcycle but a police car.
My friend told me to go out from another door and she would pick me up from the other side of the parking lot. I did as she told me and thank God the police didn't want to test her scooter. We drove to our friends house to wait for our other friend so that we could all drive together to our friends house for a sleep-over. Driving there was okay but cold as fuck. It was a 15 km ride and when we were about to make our last turn in to our friends drive-in. We slipped with the scooter in the mud and in the air we flew. My friend who was driving fell on her side/knees and I fell straight on her. I fell with my chest on her back which took my breath away (not in a good way) as in i couldn't breathe for a while and my knees were and still are hurting so god damned bad and it was quite troublesome to walk but I'm very thankful nothing worse happened to my friend or me. We went inside and ate lasagna and watched the x-factor Uk. We just chilled for the rest of the night and went to sleep.

So right now I'm lying in my second room just feeling like sh*t and listening to Eric Clapton once again. My anxiety is so bad right now and I feel suffocated in my own  mind and I just want to leave my head for a while, but I can't sleep because my mind is overthinking my emotions right now.






on a more positive note: IT'S HALLOWEEN SOON!!!!
I'm note sure yet what I want to dress up as but probably Harley Quinn or the Joker from Suicide Squad or a really cool skeleton face-paint thingy.



my jam for halloween


Thanks for reading! :)))

//Vera

Living my achingly boring life

OMFG
HI
I LEFT CAPS LOCK ON



Hi
How's my life you might ask?
Not bad at all actually still looking for an internship place in Budapest and getting kind of anxious over not getting an answer yet soo if anyone knows a place in Budapest that would hire me on an un paid internship for two weeks in november-december hmu ;)

ooh and I'm in the planning committee for my schools ninth graders winter prom. I am really excited but we are still looking for a band or a dj or someone. And a dress oh what to wear?

considering wearing the dress I'm wearing in this picture but I feel like people are going to wear something much more promy or fancy but we'll see, I'll update on that later.

at the moment in my room listening to Adore Delano and Eric Clapton and skyping some of my friends.
I have a huge crush on this girl that I contacted when I found her on tumblr and my God she is lovely ahh <3
I feel very gay today.


Thanks for reading
//Vera